Does the idea of sharing your deepest fears and darkest secrets–or even your personality quirks–make you want to throw up?

Do you believe (or worry) the people you love are more interested in what you do for them than for who you are?

Are you afraid if you quit earning your keep, even for a moment, you’ll be “voted off the island?”

Defining Shame

All of these feelings come from the same place:  a deep seeded fear that at our core we are unlovable–and that if anyone finds out, we will be cast out.  Brené Brown explains it best.

Because shame works by making us feel alone,  it’s very hard to talk about it–even to the people who love us most– for fear that if they knew what we were really like they would leave.  Ironically, it is that very act of secrecy that allows shame to maintain its hold on us.

Therefore, talking about shame experiences as soon as they happen with a trusted friend is healthy, beneficial and much easier said than done.

Luckily there are some half-measures that can make taking that leap a little bit easier.

Connect with the Secrets of Others

The most powerful part of sharing your “shame stories” with a friend is the moment when she says “me too.”  All of the sudden you realize that you are not the only one.  Listening compassionately to other people’s stories can have a similar effect.  That feeling of catharsis is part of why Post Secret is  so popular. (The other reason is peeking into the lives of strangers is compelling, but that has little or nothing to do with this post.)

Share A Secret with Yourself

If you can’t think of a secret you’ve never told anyone, you might be a paragon of whole-hearted living.  It’s also possible that you cope with feelings of shame by hiding them from yourself as well as the rest of the world.

If stuffing these feelings actually made them go away, this would be a pretty effective strategy.  Unfortunately just like food rotting in the back of your refrigerator, unexamined  feelings of shame come back to haunt you.  Luckily, there are ways to mitigate the damage, even before you are ready to share with a loved one (or even a stranger).

For me, that place is my journal.  For you it might be a painting or an anonymous blog.  It might be a tape recorder in the woods, or a walk in a quiet place where you can talk to yourself.  As long as you feel safe to be brutally honest, and are able to review your story after you tell it, what ever method you choose will work.

Don’t be Nice

I was brought up to believe “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” so this one was hard for me.  It would probably still be hard except that I discovered a secret:  the less nice I am in my journal, the more genuinely compassionate, calm, and helpful I am able to be with people in real life.  For me, that’s a worthwhile trade.

I use my journal to “say” whatever I need to say in the moment.  It’s the one place where I don’t worry about being diplomatic, kind, rational, or calm.  In my journal I rant about petty injustices and the people who have let me down, I cry about my failings, I spend pages worrying that I will never write again, (and that maybe its for the best because I was never such a great writer anyway. . .)   When I write in my journal I don’t worry about what is true, or how I will feel about it tomorrow, I just capture what comes out in the moment knowing that the thoughts that are on the page no longer have the power to poison the rest of my day.

Do be Curious

Just getting your feelings of shame onto paper is helpful because every bit of direct attention payed to shame helps to weaken it.  If you want to diminish it even further, try poking at it.  Go back through your writing and look for the assumptions that underlay your story.  Do you think you are really the only person to have made the mistake you wrote about?  Does the evidence support that you have nothing valuable to contribute and that your loved ones are only pretending to like you?  Is it possible you made the best decision you could have made with the information you had at the moment?  Did the experience you wrote about help you in some way?  Are you able to be more compassionate because of your weakness?  Can you find examples of ways the “failing” you describe actually makes you more qualified to do your work?

Then, treat yourself as you would treat your loved ones.  If a beloved friend told you the story you just read, what would you say to her?  What would happen if you were as kind to yourself as you would be to her?

Your Turn

How do you cope with feelings of shame?  Please share your ideas in the comments.

The only potential downside of this plan is between now and May 30th I need to help you (yes, you personally) see that

1. you have a valuable  story to contribute, and
2. you are brave enough to share it.

We should talk!

The easiest way to do that is if you would be so kind as to get in touch with me.  Then, we can talk about you and the amazing impact you are making in your corner of the world and develop a plan for how you can best share that on the internet.  If you are ready to talk, click the link below to schedule a 30 minute chat with me.

I’m ready to chat!

Too Soon?

If the idea of  talking to me one-on-one about the amazing things you are doing kinda makes you want to throw up,  that’s ok.

While I promise I will be absolutely, completely gentle with you– I get how scary it is to put yourself out there–especially the first time.

Would it be easier to talk to me about what your kids are doing? Or what your neighbor is doing?  Or to write a post, take a photo, or make a movie about people who inspire you?

If that’s the case,  I want to hear about it.  Click here to schedule some time to tell me about the amazing people you know.

More Inspiration

I love everything about the story of Caine’s Arcade.  I love how devoted Caine is.  I love how much support he gets from his Dad.  I love the filmmaker who maintained his relationship with his own inner child well enough to recognize genius when he saw it.

Is there a Caine in your world who has something important to teach us?

Tell me about it

see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!

Do you believe the only way to become a thought leader in your field is to express yourself in as dry a manner as possible?

Do you use data or graphs your audience won’t be able to read so your opinion seems well-researched?

Do you obfuscate your  meaning with words like obfuscate to make yourself feel smarter?

Do you wonder why you have a hard time bringing outsiders into your fold?

Unless you work in web development, gaming, or some corners of the internet marketing sector, the answer to these questions is most likely yes.  It also explains why if I were to sum up my consulting practice into one sentence it would be:

Stop sapping the awesome out of your inherently amazing work.

I don’t mean to suggest that there isn’t a time and place to get down and dirty with data, or that your policy wonk persona doesn’t deserve a place at the table.

Just keep in mind that as long as you and your organization value “brilliant” over “welcoming” your people will admire you from afar (or ignore you all together) because you make them feel stupid.

Your Turn

What’s your take on the connection between boring and serious?  Is it necessary?  Is it helpful?  Does it depend on your field?  Your Audience?

I’m (obviously) biased here so don’t be afraid to disagree–you can bring your data if I can bring a lol cat.

I think it’s because of the compiler.

Unlike in other professions, a programmer’s workday includes mandatory down-time.  After writing a batch of code, programmers have to take a break while the computer compiles–translates their work from human readable language to machine readable language.  Without this step, the program won’t run.

While the computer does its work, programmers are not expected to feign busyness.  They are allowed, even encouraged, to slack off until the computer finishes.  Thus, when they return to work, not only has the computer had time to compile, but so has the programmer.

The rest of us also write code for a very specialized computer everyday:  our brains.  But unlike computer programmers, we don’t have mandatory compiling opportunities built into our day; we need to create them. 

Work in short bursts

When coders are working on a particularly sticky problem, it’s not uncommon to code for 10 minutes, compile, and then come back to see what they were able to fix and where they still have work to do.

The same concept applies to your work.  When progress seems impossible, try working on your project for 10 minutes and then doing something else for ten minutes.  MaryAnn calls this process layer-caking and it’s my favorite  Secret Playdate activity.

Diversify your interests

The not-computer-related definition of compile is:

to put together or compose from materials gathered from several sources

If you only ever expose your brain to one subject or way of thinking, it’s going to be hard to get any real compilation done.  Branch out!  Read new sections of the paper (or add new sections to your FlipBoard app).  Go see a movie about which you know nothing.  Start really paying attention when your partner or friends talk about their work.  You’ll be amazed at the connections the computer between your ears will be able to draw.

Give it time

Compiling takes the time that it takes and there is nothing you can do to speed up the process.  So build time into your schedule to take extended breaks where you don’t consciously work.  Instead of expecting yourself to finish a project in one sitting, create an outline to capture your ideas, go play disc golf*.  When you return, chances are you’ll be better prepared to flesh out your ideas.

If you just can’t bring yourself to actually slack off , try switching to “mindless” work.  It’s not as effective as play because even envelope stuffing requires some of your processing power, and you’ll forgo the energy boost that taking time off gives you, but if you just can’t bring yourself to play (or your boss absolutely won’t have it) it’s better than nothing.

Your Turn

Do you allow yourself some slack time?  How do you spend it?  Share your favorite slacking activities– as well as their results– in the comments!

*I’m on a disc golf kick.  You can play what ever you want.

Now that the weather is getting warmer I’ve been thinking about last year’s Summer of Small Voices.  I knew I wanted to host another showcase this summer but was having a hard time coming up with a theme.

Then, while working on a lesson for the LHF Greenhouse, I stumbled upon this TED Talk from 2010.

Clay provides several great examples of cognitive surplus in his speech and he got me thinking:  sure there are examples of people working together on big projects to impress their friends and improve their communities; but for every Wikipedia there must be countless people with amazing ideas who need a little money, a little help, or a little encouragement to turn that idea into something more than a hobby.

This summer, I’m dedicating the Low Hanging Fruit blog to helping those people (read:  you) find the “little something” they need get moving.

To participate, all you have to do is submit a post addressing two questions:

1. How do you spend your cognitive surplus?
2. What do you need to take your idea to the next level?

What if I’m not a writer?

No problem! The goal of the summer showcase is to highlight the amazing work and ideas coming from the Low Hanging Fruit community.  If telling your story via blog post works for you, great!  If not you could make a video, post a photo with a great caption, draw a web comic, or write a poem.

In other words, if I can figure out a way to share your story on the internet–no matter its form, I’m ready to try it.

Are you in?

If you’d like to participate in this summer’s showcase, send me a message letting me know the subject of your submission as well as when (sometime between May 1st and August 31st) you’d like your piece to appear.

If you think it would be fun to participate but think your work isn’t worth sharing,   Send me a message anyway and I’ll be happy to help you find your voice.

Can’t wait to see what you are working on!

P.S.  The Clay Shirky video from TED  is more polished, (and worked better for embedding in the blog post)  but this video from 2008 is actually the first one I saw.  I recommend you spend some of your cognitive surplus this week watching both.

A child watching TV. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I have a confession:  I watch TV.

I live in a house with a gold-plated Direct TV subscription, HBO, and Netflix–and those babies are not going to waste.  I watch at least an hour of TV most nights and sometimes as much as 5-6 hours.  There are shows I love almost as much as these people love Battlestar Galactica.

Now, most people who write blogs like this one will tell you a TV habit is a no-no. Why “waste” all that time consuming the creative output of others when you could use those hours to write more blog posts, create more websites, or start a movement to change the world?

This advice sounds reasonable–until you consider that by the time I get to the TV part of my day, loading the dishwasher is a challenge, never mind stringing words together into cogent sentences.  All the self-flagellation in the world isn’t going to change that.

In other words, beating yourself up for watching TV, playing video games, or reading romance novels in your low-energy time is a good way to make yourself feel guilty, but it’s not a good way to get more done.

Focusing on you spend your high-energy time is another matter entirely.

Most people have 3-4 great hours every day.  Hours when they are alert, energized, and focused.  Hours when ideas flow and work that is nearly impossible at other times of the day seems almost effortless.

If you want to be more productive, focus on how you spend this time.   Avoid meetings during these hours (unless you are running them).  Put off rote tasks until later.  And under no circumstances should you spend this time watching television or reading novels.

Instead, reserve these hours for the most generative parts of your work:  Wrestle with tough problems.  Outline a new fundraising campaign.  Conceive of a new product offering.  Write copy for your next sales page. Work on your novel.  Develop an infographic that captures both information and imagination.

When you start to feel drained, set the creative work aside and fill in the rest of your work day with the “necessary but slightly boring” tasks that accompany even the most amazing of callings.

Eventually, probably after another 4-5 hours, these rote tasks will start to feel difficult.  This is the point in the day when you have a choice.

You can force yourself to keep working and eek out a bit more of your most mediocre work.

Or, you can stop.

You can spend the rest of the day “goofing-off.”  Watch TV.  Go for a walk.  Play video games.  Listen to music.  The nature of the leisure activity is not nearly as important as the joy you derive from it.

After a while you’ll start to notice something amazing.  Allowing yourself to “waste” your low-energy time everyday has a secret benefit:  It serves as fuel for tomorrow’s high energy hours.  Which means you end up getting more done every day even though you spend less time on “productive” tasks.

Seems like a good trade to me–and not just because Game of Thrones is about to start.

Your Turn

How do you spend your “low-energy” time?

[Editor’s note:  I’m a morning person, so I start  the day at my energy high water mark and slowly wear down throughout the day.  If you are a night person, the phases of your day are likely to be reversed.]

After watching this TED Talk video this week I realized I skipped an important step.

Before we can change the world, we must change our definitions of strength and weakness.  And we must start with ourselves.

This is the part of the post where I would normally give you 3-7 ideas for how to make the change we are talking about.

In this case, I think it’s too soon.

Instead, just watch the video.  If you have thoughts you’d like to share, questions or struggles, I’d love to hear them in the comments.  If, like one person I spoke with, you watch the video and can’t find words that capture your reaction, that’s cool too.

Once we’ve all had some time to process I’ll follow up with more posts about vulnerability, what it means for us and our work, and how we might achieve it.

P.S. If you’d like to see more you can watch Brené Brown’s TEDx Houston speech. (The one with the “Breakdown” slide.) here.

With payoffs like these, even Scrooge might see generosity as an investment!

If your mother is anything thing like Lucie Carruthers, she’s been reminding you to be generous and share from the time you learned the word “mine.”

While I’m pretty sure mom reasons for being generous are focused on raising good citizens and creating peace in living rooms, it turns out those same ideas might are also good for your bottom line.

Generosity Is Easy

If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything
~Mark Twain

Generous employee and customer policies are like that too.

If you trust your employees to take the sick and vacation time they need, not only do you end up with happier and more productive workers, you also don’t have to pay someone to monitor vacation policy compliance .  If your refund policy is “no sale is ever final” not only do you end up with customers who love you so much they are willing to say so in a video, you don’t have to teach customer service reps when to issue refunds and when to refuse.

Generosity Foils Anger

Nothing stops a person gearing up for a fight faster than a big smile and an absolute willingness to fix their problem.  Faced with non-resistance, some irate people forget what they were mad about all together.  Even the ones who don’t are often so impressed by over-the-top service in the face of their vitriol that instead of losing business, the run-in actually earns you a big, vocal fan.

Generosity Breeds Loyalty

Conventional wisdom says we are generous with our friends and family and put ourselves first when dealing with strangers.  When you treat your customers as if you expect them to cheat you, the “stranger rule” is enforced.  On the other hand, by being generous–especially in unexpected situations and places–you subtly encourage customers, employees, volunteers, and  donors to think of you not as a stranger, but as a friend.  So long as you don’t break that trust, you and your business will maintain the preferred friend status–which means your existing customers are less likely to shop for a lower price, are more likely to forgive you when you make an (honest) mistake, and will go out of their way to recommend you to their friends–not because you pay them to, but because they genuinely want to help you as much as you’ve helped them.

But. . . .

Will some people take unfair advantage of your generosity?

Probably.

Doesn’t it follow you need to create rules to protect yourself?

Nope.

Some people cheat.  All the rules in the world won’t stop them from trying to take advantage.  If you inadvertently hire one of those people, fire them.  If you have a client or a customer who is always unhappy or is just  more trouble than he’s worth, stop accepting his business.  But don’t punish the rest of your customers for the bad behavior of the few.  Your good customers will be happier, you’ll have more time and money and the world will be a better place.

Your Turn

How have you rewarded generosity as a customer or employee?  How has generosity positively impacted your own bottom line?

Image via Wikipedia

I’ve spent most of the last two weeks taking care of sick people, or being sick myself–which is not super conducive to writing new blog posts.

I’m starting to feel a little better so new material will be coming soon– in the meantime, this snow day post from last year is a great reminder that rest is not a luxury. If you are a human, your body and mind need down time. You can choose to take that time when you feel well and enjoy it, or you can wait until your body goes on strike. Totally up to you.

photo credit: neilslorance via photopin.com

There are two types of creative people.  Some are in a state of flow.  For them ideas and inspiration come easily.   Creations seem to will themselves into being with little or no effort from the creator.

For other creative people the road is much rockier.  No matter how hard they work, they can’t seem to produce much of anything.  They strain and toil and at the end of the day (which seemed to stretch on for weeks) they have little or nothing to show for it.

Actually, I lied.

There is only one kind of creative person and she experiences both creative conditions.

When you are in the flow state all is right with the world.  Also, you probably aren’t online looking for articles about how to restart your creativity, so let’s talk about what to do when all of your ideas suck and don’t know what to do about it.

Don’t Panic

You will write again.  You have not forgotten how paint interacts with brushes and canvas.  You are every bit as brilliant, gorgeous and talented as you were last week.  Everyone experiences these low spots, but the only thing giving way to panic and fear accomplishes is to extend your time in the hole.  When you start to feel overtaken by worry, stop what you are doing and just breathe until you can proceed with a clear head.

Don’t Push

I’m not suggesting you give up without an effort.  If you are feeling stuck, by all means try to unblock yourself.  Do some free writing.  Enjoy a cup of coffee away from your desk.  Take a walk around the block. Play with the cat.  Go through the motions of your craft even if the work produced goes straight in the garbage.

If after running through your usual set of gentle noodges, (and trying a new one or two) you still aren’t feeling it, don’t sit at your desk staring at a blank screen forcing yourself to work.  Creativity does not respond to threats.

Do Procrastinate

If the creative ideas aren’t coming they aren’t coming.  You might as well make good use of the time.

Do the laundry. Scrub a toilet. Clean out your e-mail. Do your filing. Go to the zoo.  Window shop in the mall. Make chicken noodle soup from scratch. Knit yourself a new pair of socks.  Take a nap.

Try to avoid tasks that feel like regular work to your body and brain but don’t actually accomplish much.  Playing Angry Birds, Words with Friends, or Farmville fit in this category.  As does spending hour after hour on Facebook, or even reading articles and blogs on-line.

Don’t skimp on your procrastination time.  When you get to this point, it’s time to spend at least an hour not working on your project.  After your enforced procrastination time go back to the creative task at hand.  If after 20 minutes you are still spinning your wheels, you aren’t done procrastinating.  Pick a new task–this time go for something more fun than the first one and try again.

You’ll be flowing again in no time.

Your Turn

What do you do when your creative brain goes on strike?

Many life lessons were learned inside this nondescript building.

I had two professors in undergrad whose shared guidance let me to exceptional growth in the four years I spent with them.  Either of them on their own would have been a benefit to my education, but the power of their mentorship styles combined was amazing.

The first professor was the theatre department chair and taught many of my classes.  Because I worked in the Speech/Theatre Office as well as served as the House and Box Office Manager for department productions, I spent a lot of time with Jeff.  Every time I saw him (it seemed) he had a new project, and that project’s success usually required my attention.  Often, it also required skills I didn’t have (yet).

As far as I could tell it never occurred to Jeff that I might not know how to do the work he asked me to do.  He assigned it and crossed it off his list as done–in full confidence that I’d figure it out.

He was almost always right.  There were certainly a couple of embarrassing mistakes, (beautiful audition posters with the wrong date on them come immediately to mind) as well as a project or two I just didn’t do in hopes he’d forget about them.  In those cases he never yelled.  He just insisted I personally fix each resulting problem.  It was exhausting–and exhilarating.

I could not have asked for more opportunities to do “real” work as an undergraduate.  Because of his unreasonable levels of confidence in what I could do I finished my baccalaureate degree with work experience that rivaled some graduate students.

And yet, all that pushing to continually do more might have been too much on its own.  Luckily I had another mentor with a completely different approach.

Stan taught my Intro to Theatre class and because he was also the department’s Technical Director counted on me to turn his purchase orders into actual supplies in a timely manner.  I never worked in the shop for Stan, nor did I take any of the design or technical classes he taught.  And yet, for one reason or another, Stan decided that I was an amazing student with great potential as a future theatre professional.  When ever I needed an ego boost, I went to talk to Stan.  When the latest assignment from Jeff had me doubting myself, Stan would remind me of what’ I’d already accomplished.  That well placed bit of encouragement was often exactly what I needed to push through to the next level.

You Need Both

I am intensely grateful to the life and theatre lessons I learned from both of these men, but the part of this trip down memory lane that is important to you is that  both kinds of motivation are required to do your best work.

You need people and experiences that challenge you to keep going, to never be satisfied with what you’ve already accomplished, to keep pushing beyond where you ever imagined was possible.  But if that’s the only kind of motivation in your life, eventually you will push so hard you break.

Therefore, you also need to be loved and admired just as you are.  You need to be reminded of your past accomplishments and be able to see yourself in the best possible light.  But all that support–without a force to push you to keep moving–makes it very tempting to stop trying new things all together.

Be Your Own Mentor

Finding other people to fill these mentorship roles is amazingly valuable– especially early in your career, but since you are the one person you’ll spend your whole life with, it’s very beneficial to learn to provide yourself with both kinds of motivation.

The first step is to reflect upon your natural motivational style.  Do you tend to push yourself no matter what you’ve already accomplished?  Or are you secretly (or not so secretly) already pretty impressed with how awesome you are?  Which ever style you tend toward, recognize that quality as a gift–chances are it’s working pretty well for you.

If you are a “pusher” keep that part of your personality and add some regular affirmations to remind yourself of how much you have already accomplished.  For extra credit, set aside (at least) one day per week for play, self-care, and general celebration of the week’s accomplishments.

If your natural tendency leans more toward the “I’m awesome” camp, but you would like to learn to push yourself a bit harder, simply reverse the process.  Don’t cut out the self-care, just add new projects with hard deadlines* to your schedule.  Audition for a Play.  Submit a proposal to speak at a local conference.  Start a blog and commit to a weekly posting schedule.  The more opportunities you provide yourself to stretch your skills–especially when you aren’t sure you will be successful, the faster your existing skills will develop beyond what you can currently conceive.

Your Turn

Do you have a mentor whose support has helped make you who you are today?  Tell us who she/he is and how your life is better thanks to her/his influence in the comments!

*The deadline is important when you start out because without it your new project is likely to sit on your “someday” pile indefinitely.  

If you work with people, eventually some of them are going to make suggestions.  Most of the time, those suggestions will be made with the best of intentions.  And yet, sometimes following said advice will be the best thing that ever happened to you or your organization, and sometimes it will lead to unmitigated disaster.*  So how do you determine when to listen and adapt and when to smile and nod?

Bring on the Baby Groundhogs!

The groundhogs in this video live in my backyard.  As you can see, I’m pretty excited about it.  When they first showed up I called two moms to tell them about it.

My partner’s mom was as (or more) excited about my backyard residents than I.  She wanted to see them (which is why I took the video), had all kinds of suggestions for how to get them to come closer to the house.  She continues to ask about their well being every time I talk to her, and sometimes calls just to ask about them.

My mom’s reaction** was “Are you sure you want groundhogs living in your yard?  They’ll eat your plants and might dig holes.  It’s not a good situation.”

It’s not About being Right

It’s important to note this is not a case of determining who is right and who is wrong.  Both women have groundhog experience and based their advice on what they had learned.  They both also had good intentions; wanting only the best for me and my back yard.  Finally, they are both right:  groundhogs are adorable, fun to watch creatures and they eat plants including one’s grass, flowers and vegetable garden.

And yet their advice is completely contradictory, so I can’t really do both.   Therein lies the dilemma.

It’s About Being Aligned

The answer is to figure out which mom’s advice comes from a value set most aligned with my own.

J.’s mom is a life-long animal lover.  She’s had pets her whole life and there are no furry animals, including (pet) rats she doesn’t love.

See what I mean? This woman loves plants

My mother is a gardener.  She has a beautiful yard full of flowers specifically chosen to provide color throughout the spring, summer and fall.  She also grows fruits and vegetables.

I, (as you might have guessed) am an animal person.  Until the grass in my back yard started attracting wildlife, I thought of it only as something my neighborhood’s social contract dictated I mow on a weekly basis.  Its well-being is not high on my priority list.  As far as I am concerned, there is nothing back there that the groundhogs are not welcome to call breakfast.

How does this apply to my Organization?

As the leader of a nonprofit organization (or anyone trying to spread a message) you will be offered unsolicited advice on how to improve your work.  Here’s how you can use the “baby groundhog method” to decide what to do.

Know what you stand for

Nonprofit work is hard, and nonprofit leaders are buried in advice about how to do it better.  Sometimes you will make decisions based on what’s convenient, or popular, or what everyone else is doing.  When you get really big, you may even make decisions based on what you need to keep your organization solvent, rather than what you need to achieve your goals.

But your best decisions?  Those will be made when you follow advice that resonates with why you started to do the work in the first place.

Learn to identify your people

The best way to know who to listen to is to have a crystal clear vision of what the people most connected to your cause care  most about.  If you don’t have a clear picture of who your people are, or are using demographics to pick them, This perfect supporter worksheet  will help.

Only follow advice that. . .

moves your closer to your mission or closer to your perfect people.

This is yet another reason marketing to the general public doesn’t work. If “everyone” is your perfect supporter, you have to try to meet everyone’s needs.  Since people’s needs are so varied, the very decisions that delight one person will offend another.

In other words, you can’t please all of the people all of the time, so decide who you want to please and ignore everyone else.

A word of Caution

Don’t confuse your organizational habits, traditions, or preferences with your mission.  Just because a change will be annoying, doesn’t mean it doesn’t move you closer to your goals and remove barriers between you and your perfect supporters.

Your Turn

What well intentioned,  but inappropriate advice have you left on the table recently?

*It’s actually more of a spectrum, but you get my drift.

**It was also my mom who suggested I find a blog post in the groundhog story, which turned out to be great advice, so it’s not like I never listen to her. . .

Image via Wikipedia

In honor of Dr. Martin Luther King, Nancy Schwartz asked the Nonprofit Blog Carnival community to spend time in January reflecting on our own dreams and how we intend to bring them to fruition.

As is evidenced by my 11th hour submission, I found this assignment daunting.  Who am I to declare the future direction of the not-for-profit sector?  What difference does my work make in the grand scheme of the universe?  How can I solve problems large agencies with million dollar budgets have yet to tackle?

And then I realized–that’s the whole point.

Unless those of us whose hearts break in the face of injustice feel brave enough, powerful enough, worthy enough, to stand up and do what is ours to do–even when we can’t imagine how our contribution will matter, nothing will change.

On the other hand, every time one small voice finds the strength to speak, she makes it easier for the next voice to be heard.  Eventually our voices will be too loud to ignore.

So my dream is to get the crowd on its feet.  To provide passionate souls with the inspiration, encouragement, support, and tools they need to take their first steps toward the bright future they envision.  To walk with them when the path gets rocky, to provide counsel when there is  an easier way–and support when pushing through is the only option.  To make sure every change-maker knows she is not alone.

Are you ready to stand up and walk with me?

If you want to use social media to build your audience, attract new volunteers, sell your artwork, or change the world, there is one thing you can do to make your campaigns more dynamic, interesting and effective.

Use social media personally.

I don’t mean create a personal account from which you do work things.  I mean use Facebook to reconnect with your college friends and “like” photos of your nieces and nephews.  Use Pinterest* to design your dream home and look at photos of food and shoes.  Use Twitter to meet new people who get excited about the same subjects about which you care.  Sign-up for Google+ to see if any of your friends are there–and to get a sneak peek at how people who love new stuff do social media before the general population shows up.

Don’t Skip This Step

People who are influenced by social media use it because it’s fun.  Because their our lives are brighter when we can log into websites and see what our friends are doing and what they care about.  Because social media sites are places where we make new friends.  We don’t force ourselves to use it for 30 minutes in the morning and 30 minutes in the afternoon because we read somewhere we needed to be “present” before people would start listening to us.

No matter how dedicated you are to your cause, until you really understand social media from the perspective of people who like it, your heart-felt messages about why people should follow you will be as effective as a used car sales pitch at a cocktail party.

On the other hand, once you grok  the intrinsic value of social media, your tone will shift, “social media success” articles will start making sense, and you’ll begin to understand how, when, and with whom  to connect so your messages are not only accepted, they are welcomed–and spread throughout the network.

In other words, everyone wins.

*Pinterest is invitation only right now.  If you want an invite, leave a comment and I’ll send you one.

 Over the last six months, first as part of the summer of small voices series, and more recently as I’ve been sharing the LHF Greenhouse invitation I’ve noticed a  disturbing trend–a large number of you believe “you don’t have any ideas.”

This worries me because we need people like you–and the ideas that come from your smart, kind, generous, and determined souls– to create a future for our universe that is brighter than our past.

I’m also highly suspicious.   I suppose there might be some people in the world who are genuinely idea-free.  But they don’t feel the longing you feel to make the world a better place.  That longing is a sure sign of blocked ideas trying to get your attention.

Let’s see what we can do to let them out.

Have Bad Ideas

www.nataliessentiments.com

The main difference between people with lots of good ideas and people who struggle is that idea generators don’t let fear of bad ideas get in their way.  In other words, the fastest way to ensure your good ideas stay locked in your heart is to ridicule yourself for bad ones.  There will be plenty of time for judgement later, and there is no law that says you have to finish everything you start.  Let the terrible ideas flow and before long you’ll start to notice the diamonds that come a long for the ride.

Get a Running Start

Some people may be inspired on demand.  I do not know those people.  Sure there are days when the words just come to me, or when I have more ideas than I can handle.  But there are just as many days when the well seems dry.  Every sentence I start seems cheesy, obvious–or both.  Sometimes that’s a sign that I need to back off (see “create space” below.)  When that’s not an option, or when I’ve been in a slump for awhile, I sneak up on genius instead. As a writer this means I set a timer for 50 minutes and just start typing.  I can’t tell you how many documents I’ve started with “What if I never write another decent sentence again. . .”  Once I work through the abject fear, I start to focus on the subject at hand, just writing what I know as it comes to me.  I don’t worry about how bad the writing is–it’s supposed to be.  I don’t worry about how the ideas fit together–they don’t.  When time is up, I save my work and walk away.

After at least four hours, I come back and read what I’ve written with fresh eyes.  Some of it is absolutely terrible, but there are usually some sections that work, some parts may even be brilliant.  From there I can  craft a finished product out of the nuggets of inspiration I wasn’t able to recognize as I wrote them.

Create Space

Creative ideas need space to grow.  Virginia Woolf covered the importance of physical and economic space quite thoroughly in 1929, but there is one other place to create space before creative ideas take root–your mind.  When your days are filled with busyness, and your nights are filled with mentally absorbing, but not creative, pursuits like television, FarmVille, or my personal favorite, Angry Birds,  there is no space left for your own work to emerge.

If, however, you set aside time in which you purposely limit the in flow of ideas, you create a path for your own ideas to flow out.  If the idea of sitting around and waiting to have an idea is unappealing, try this instead:  spend more time each day doing work that engages part of your body, but not your mind–showering, driving, and washing dishes are personal favorites.  Instead of listening to music or watching TV while you work, let your mind wander.  In less than 30 minutes you’ll wish you had a notepad to capture the thoughts coming out of your brain.

Your Turn

Spill it!  Leave a comment below with your best ideas for igniting the creative part of your brain.