I’ve been stuck.
I’m not exactly sure when it happened, but my forward momentum on several fronts has slowed or stopped in the last month or so.
I’ve tried a lot of “getting unstuck” methods. I’ve pushed really hard, I’ve stopped pushing all together. I’ve waited, I’ve looked at issues from new angles. I’ve pretended I wasn’t stuck, I’ve explored what people in other lines of work and from other cultures do when they are stuck. I’ve seen a glimmer of hope here and there but mostly it was still just me, in the mud, starting to worry that maybe this was as far as I was meant to go.
On Friday, I met with a local executive coach who is connected with my MFA Master Teacher. I expected to learn more about the local arts scene and (hopefully) get connected with people who could help me get back to full-time theatre work.
That is not what happened. In fact, he didn’t bring up the name of a single person who could help me find a new job. Instead, he argued I had a great job already and the “thing*” standing between me and keeping it could be solved in less than a week.
It wasn’t a pleasant conversation, and his solution to the thing* wasn’t exactly right–but he absolutely nailed one important thing.
I’ve been waiting for permission.
This was a huge revelation to me. I don’t think of myself as a “wait for instructions” kind of person. I’ve always seen myself as a leader–as someone who sees what needs to be done and does it, for the benefit of the group.
In a lot of ways that is true. And yet, I’ve known for three years what needed to happen for my program to thrive–but because no one gave me their blessing to lead the charge, I’ve been waiting.
It just seemed polite.
Now I am done waiting. I have a plan. I have co-conspirators. I’ve never been so excited to go to work in the morning.
Things are looking up 🙂
What’s blocking your path? How would things be different if you could stop waiting?*sorry about the lack of specificity here. The secret plan involves launching a thing and I don’t want to spill the beans yet 🙂